Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
