I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
