I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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