At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
She's the barista slut.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
