Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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