No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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