I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
