guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
