I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
