I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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