You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
