There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
