a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
she pinky promised me she was 18
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
