The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
