Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
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Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
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Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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