good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
