i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize