Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
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She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
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