So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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