what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
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