hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize
