Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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