She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
