Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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