OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
