I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
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you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
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I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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