I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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