a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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