can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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