my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
