still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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