Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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