you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
It all started with a game of naked twister.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
