September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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