one might say we're banned from that church
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
