Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
