Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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