imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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