The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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