Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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