The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
