There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
