farters have to be the big spoon...
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
