If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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