sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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