what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
