you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Houston, we have a squirter
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
