just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize