she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
