That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
