Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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