So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
