You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
