her vagine was all disorganized.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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