You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
