We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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