That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
That accounts for only three of the penises
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
