roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
My ass is underappreciated
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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