Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
