thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
