Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
