woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
