Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
