You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Randomize
