Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
