This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
