dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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