Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
