Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
